The Plan

Oh, boy Alright, here's the plan It's the best plan you've ever had And you're gonna say the plan right now Right now Step one Uh, surgical tools, surgical tools We got pliers, clamps, forceps You know what? Let's just take all of that Step two Uh, gloves Gotta keep clean from the blood And if there isn't blood, it's probably 'cause They're cadavers, and cadavers don't bleed Step three Another drink You're gonna need another drink to think There's a lot going on Gotta keep your head on straight, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Tools, check, booze, check Now go upstairs and reattach that neck Then off you go and no one will know That the women are dead, but they're alive They're dead, but they're alive Step one New step Gonna start it with a whole new step Step one is a whole new step this time So everybody just look out Step two Ooh, get glue Hot glue, superglue, Elmer's Something to seal up all the cuts and the cracks And the flaps pulled back on the skin Oh, the skin What do I do? The two of them are turning blue And their makeup won't stick So I guess I have to seal that in Oh, my God, oh, God Oh, Ernest What a mess, oh, God If this gets in the press You'll be cancelled, you'll be shamed You'll watch your life go up in flames You'll die and desecrate the Menville family name No You're Ernest Menville, dammit Surgeon to the stars If someone needs a nose, they come to you You fix faces, and butts You sew lacerations and cuts So what's the difference with a big ol' hole That, Jesus Christ, you can see right through Clay You need clay You need clay to fill the hole in the lady "That's a good idea" Well, thank you, friend You ain't so bad yourself Okay Next step Uh, what do we got, what do we got We got Mod Podge, Mod Podge "Acrylic Sealant Spray" Ooh, pray spaint, I mean spray paint You just need a little spray paint It's thin, it'll stick to the skin on its own And it comes in a variety of flesh-colored tones Oh, my God, I think I did it I don't know if I did, but I really think I did it A little airbrush here, shadow there Basic care to the nails and hair A quick shellac for the wear and tear And wham, yes You're Ernest Menville, dammit Surgeon to the stars You gave Cher the cheeks she has today You fix boobies, and necks You graft the fat, and they write the check So who's to say you can't Bob Ross A little zombie decay, huh? You're Ernest Menville, dammit Surgeon to the stars The steadiest hands in all of LA, ha-ha-ha-ha Who's capable and coveted And a towering six-foot-three Ernest Menville, M.D Ernest Menville Ernest Menville Ernest Menville Ernest Menville Ernest Menville Ernest Menville You're Ernest Menville, dammit Surgeon to the stars Steadiest hands in all of LA Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Who's got tools, booze, spray, clay, paint, and a medical degree? Ernest Menville, M.D That's me E-R-S-T and that Tools, booze, clay, fill the hole in the lady, paint the-paint the corpse, that's the plan