Such Horrible Things

Sit Back Now, Let Me Tell You A Tale Where Justice Does Not Prevail About An Ill-Fated Life, So Very Full Of Strife Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right So... When I Was Born I Did Surely Scorn My Proud Parents Name Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain Drove Them Insane My Birth Was A Curse I Bit The Nurse Oh, But I Love The Worst I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse When I Was Two I Poured Super Glue Into My Fathers Hair As He Sat Unaware In His Arm Chair Much To His Dismay Had To Cut It All Away Oh, But It Felt Great I Deserve To Be Cut And Filleted Then Tossed About In Disarray Until The Pieces Melt Away I Am Not A Bad Man Even Though I Do Bad Things Very Bad Things Such Horrible Things But It's Not Quite What It Seems **Not Quite What He Seems** Not Quite What I Seem Ah, Hell It's Exactly What It Seems When I Was Four I'd Wait By The Door With A Knife In My Hand And A Most Devious Plan It Would Be Quite Grand As The Mail Fell Through The Slot The Sharp Edge He Got Oh, But I Like The Thought I Deserve To Be Tied In A Knot Broken Bones And Blood Clots When I Was Six I Used To Trick The Next Door Neighbors Son In The Woods We Would Run Time For Fun Hide And Seek Has A Cost He Would Be Forever Lost Oh, But I Love To Scoff I Deveserve To Have My Head Lopped Off Hidden And Covered In Moss Until This Memory's Forgot I Am Not A Bad Man Even Though I Do Bad Things Very Bad Things Such Horrible Things But It's Not Quite What It Seems **Not Quite What He Seems** Not Quite What I Seem Ah, Hell It's Exactly What It Seems When I Was Eight I Used To Hate The Color Of My House So As Quite As A Mouse I Burned It Down To The Ground When No One Was Around Oh, But I Love The Sound I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down Rotting Six Feet Underground When I Was Ten I Used To Pretend To Drown In The Sea Till They Come And Rescue Me Then Preceed To Laugh In Their Face Such A Disgrace Oh, But I Love The Taste I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced All Over The Fireplace Until This Life Has Been Erased I Am Not A Bad Man Even Though I Do Bad Things Very Bad Things Such Horrible Things But It's Not Quite What It Seems **Not Quite What He Seems** Not Quite What I Seem Ah, Hell It's Exactly What It Seems When I Was Twelve I Used To Delve Into Evil Schemes Just To Illicit Screams Boost My Self Esteem Pushed My Sister Down A Well She Just Fell Oh, But I Love To Dwell I Deserve To The Roast Deep Down In Hell Where No One Can Hear Me Yell When I Was Fourteen Nothing Much Happened Well, There Was That One Time I Am Not A Bad Man Even Though I Do Bad Things Very Bad Things Such Horrible Things But It's Not Quite What It Seems **Not Quite What He Seems** Not Quite What I Seem Ah, Hell It's Exactly What It Seems When I Was Sixteen Life Was Frightening My Brother Was Quiet Dull So With Laughter In My Skull Pushed Him In A Hole Then Buried Him Alive He Barely Survived Oh, But I Love The Cries I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried In An Electric Chair That's Set On High Now That I'm Eighteen I Still Hate Things From This Padded Cell I Call My Home No Friends, No Phone No Life To Call My Own Here I Will Lie Until The Very Day I Die Until My Blood Begins To Dry And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came So I Am Not A Bad Man Even Though I Do Bad Things Very Bad Things Such Horrible Things But It's Not Quite What It Seems Not Quite What I Seem Ah, Hell I'm Exactly What I Seem