Diary #3 - Inspiring

I used to starve myself trying to lose weight Couldn't even get hard, my body so out of shape My girl blamed herself because we stopped having sex She started hating her own body and now she's doing the same I knew it to be true, but I didn't wanna take the blame So I didn't bring it up when she skipped the meals that I made She ended up in the hospital, tryna undo the damage I worried bout her disorder like I ain't inspire that trait I'm so inspiring I grew up middle class, but my day-one was out the streets When you ask that kid how he traveled the world, he'll tell you T The big difference between us, I had a loving family His family was fucked up to a degree So he relied on relationships To get the love that I got from my mom each week I had a girlfriend, but I didn't need it like he did So I would lie to my girl While out on tour and he would peep it Keeping secrets Inspiring my bro to be okay with cheating I'm so inspiring Four years deep in the relationship He flew a groupie out with the merch money that I paid him with I thought that shit was whack, but we just joked about the craziness 'Cause who am I to say no to it When I inspired the bulk of it? I'm so in between being a kid and being on grown-up shit That I make all my youngest friends Upset they don't got money yet But I know all my older homies watch how free my tour life goes It got them taking trips and forgetting they got a kid at home Inspiring I used up show up drunk to the studio with a shorty Bumping into this kid who had a session there before me His music sounds like mine, It was obvious who he watched I've never said that I drove drunk, but he saw my car in the lot His music wasn't great, but I knew that he'd have potential When he stopped tryna be me and said some shit more sentimental This year I stopped bumping into him, asked my engineer why He told me 'bout a hit and run and DUI My God I'm so inspiring I might be the reason a couple kids Continue to grind with goals to reach But how many gone end up like me? Some got a passion, but I think most just got obsession And theyre low key chasing hype that disguise itself as a dream Nevertheless, they're grinding like grown men off a pay cut Sometimes I wonder how many years of youth I took away from And how many kids are not gonna make it Not find a girl Not have a kid Just chasing music Till they fail and feel it's bullshit What if I told you trying to win the world end up a whirlwind? What if I told you I'm in the same hospital I put my girl in? What if I told you I know I'm inspiring and I always did But all and all who knows if I've inspired something positive?