Dark Place

Yeah Depression, anxiety got ahold of me 'Cause people say they want the older me Well I'm 30, this the oldest me Behold it's me, the piece of shit that's not good enough Not black enough, not hood enough Not rich enough, not poor enough My heart is poured enough I been beaten and battered, my confidence shattered Been broken and tattered I'm constantly second guessin' if my profession is worth it on my mental state Writin' this from a dark place with humility and grace Peace, love, and positivity was my nativity But now when socials are in my vicinity I'm not runnin' from the internet My god, I was at its birth, I've been a vet Goin' berserk like Peter down in InterTech, yo, ayy It's deeper than the surface, I'm searchin' for purpose I'm tired of searchin' for logic and Googlin' purposes to read that I'm worthless I remember makin' music alone, just a pen and a microphone But nowadays it's hard to get in the zone Writin' rhymes was easy before the fame Now I'm constantly overthinkin' every line, it's a shame Rap used to fill me with joy, now it's nothin' but pain I'm stuck in the game, tryna get back from where I came I write this letter for the person who's listenin' Fed up and tired of people dismissin' 'em, I'm with you I been through what you been though No amount of money can take away the feelin' of insecurity Only though maturity can we overcome Feel like I've been overrun, feel like it's over, I'm done Whoever told you success gon' make you happy? You been lied to All of my dreams came true but I bleed and cry too Never been perfect, I failed everytime I tried to Feelin' hated and underappreciated Everytime I look in the mirror, I wonder, "Why you?" Shit, I'd love to end this on some positive shit Hit you with punchlines instead of some derogative shit But it's okay to be sad sometimes and tired of shit, I guess And people say, "Well you're just out for money" I say, "That's none of your business" You see, a lot of people don't feel happy Unless they have another thing beyond money, which is called status And status, to a very large extent in our economy consists in In having this thing, that thing, the other thing, and having a swimming pool A, uh, Ferrari, uh, some kind of clothes and uh, some kind of house And so on, and so on, and so on And we think, uh, we need all that Because we haven't asked ourselves whether that was what we really wanted They all think they gotta have this, they gotta have that And uh, they don't really want it If they sat back and considered, "Do I need all that?" "Is this trip really necessary?" They would come to the conclusion it wasn't, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha