Comfortable Being Alone

I'm getting too comfortable being alone Happiness calls every morning, I hear it and try to get up But I can't seem to get to the phone It leaves me a message, I wanna call back, but connection is gone (Gone, gone, gone) I sit in my room and I laugh Then I cry on my own Then put my all my life right inside of a pen and transform all the pain into songs My life is in cursive, I know that they see it but read it all wrong (Wrong, wrong, wrong) Yeah, I don't let people inside Life is a journey we drive Many will hop in the car But few will stay for the ride I stick to myself and don't ever get caught up with who's to my left and my right And if I see a red, I don't ever slow down, I speed up and go straight through the light I can spend money and get it back, but can't with my time And that's how I know how I spend, it decides how the stars in my life will align I wanna move forward but people around me keep pushing rewind Pushing rewind, pushing rewind Pushing rewind, pushing rewind, pushing re This a message to people who know me I'm shooting my shot at my dreams, I don't care if I miss, I'm still screaming out Kobe The voice in my head is a monster, it's screaming and kicking and trying to control me He takes on a mind of his own in the night, and then tells me there's tricks he could show me I'm scared of the dark, but must go to sleep These negative thoughts are stuck on repeat I tell 'em get lost But they've been subconsciously speaking since March of 2016 Those were the times when my life wasn't stressful until I was visited inside a dream He told me rap but he didn't prepare me for all of the change that the music would bring I think I'm stuck in repetitive cycles of pain I make a mistake and move on, then society makes me relive them again I'm trapped in behavior resulting from trauma resulting from how we were raised And I'm not a slave, but there's no connection to Google map out of this maze The kid in me needs to stop kidding There's too many fruit in this life, and the ones that tempt are all forbidden I've taken a shot every time, I got chased by a bottle I shouldn't have finished I got white on my face 'cause I've ghosted emotions, I know should face and revisit (Face and revisit, face and revisit, face and revisit) Yeah, I don't let people inside (I don't) Life is a journey we drive Many will hop in the car But few will stay for the ride (Stay for the ride) I stick to myself and don't ever get caught up with who's to my left and my right (I can't) And if I see a red, I don't ever slow down, I speed up and go straight through the light (I go) I can spend money and get it back, but can't with my time (Can't) And that's how I know how I spend, it decides how the stars in my life will align I wanna move forward but people around me keep pushing rewind Pushing rewind, pushing rewind Pushing rewind, pushing rewind, pushing re I had a kid tell me he wanted to die And that my music was what kept him alive He said he tried to do it multiple times And that I responded at the moment he was holding a knife I said thank you and he responded back wondering why I said, "You think I saved yours, but you really saved mine I feel that pressure from your knife when I'm writing these lines" And that purpose is what keeps me alive