Alfred’s Theme

Before I check the mic (Check, check) I give it an extra swipe with a Lysol disinfectant wipe coronavirus in effect tonight, Antiseptics on deck, I got every type I throw on my tux, then I give zero **** Then I act like a jockstrap, cup my dick then I Check my ball hair (What?) Make sure it's all there, then call the pallbearer It's Music to Be Murdered By again, why stop? Overkill, like a pipe bomb in your pine box You're all hitched to my dick (What?) Went from punching the time clock to getting my shot Then treating it like a cyclops Like it's the only one I got and my thoughts are like nines ****e Every line’s obscene,pervertedest mind,got the dirtiest rhyme stop That's why there's parental advising every time I drop So throw on the theme to Alfred, I'll channel him like the Panama Canal But how could I get up in arms About you saying trash is all that I put out? Bitch, I still get the bag when I'm putting garbage ou Plus, the potty mouth, I'm not about to wash it out, the filthiest So all this talk about I'm washed up how preposterous Because if cleanliness is next to godliness, It's obvious that it's impossible for me to be beside myself And I'm 'bout that capital, like a proper noun Sit on top the pile, got me sitting on numbers like a pocket dial Quick to call you out on your Bullshit, don't make me get that croc a dial 'Cause if I do, it's see you later, alligator, made it out the trailer Then I made a vow to cater to no one So hate I've gained about the same amount that's in my bank account So here's some more shit for you to complain about, I say the Bars that never slack, but always get attacked I think they're gunnin' for me, it's startin' to feel like that Like I'm marked 'cause when I rap, It's like fallin' on my back in a tar pit 'Cause I have this target on my back (Ew, yuck) But if I ever double-cross my fans and lost my stans I'd probably pop five Xans, go in my garage, start my van Inhale as much carbon monoxide and exhaust I can And doze off like, but odds like that with these thoughts I have It's like a giant getting squashed by ants If this is the test, The time I pass with flying colors, like I just tossed my crayons Small, medium, and large size cans Sanitizers of all types, brands, cost nine bands Which is a small price for Lysol wipes and if My palms brush across my pants, I wash my hands Shit, hold on, man Mother****e Happy birthday to- Shit (Shh, quiet) I sit in silence in candlelit environments Sipping wild Irish while getting violent Homicidal vision when I'm spitting like this But really I'm just fulfilling my wish Of killing rhymes which is really childish And silly, but I'm really like this, I'm giving nightmares to Billie Eilish I'm Diddy's side, bitch What the ****? Hold on, wai I'm Diddy's side, bitch Oh, I'm still east side, bitch So tell the END, since he PMD Been givin' y'all the business, D.R.E and me From the MMLP to in MTBMB ***** is 2020, you still ain't seein' me So call me Santa Claus 'Cause at the present , I out-rap 'em all I'm at the mall, got your bitch in a bathroom stal She could suck a basket ball through A plastic straw with a fractured jaw My dick is coat check, she want to jack it off I'm so far passed the bar, I should practice law Mentally, I'm ****ed up generall Duke's a hazard car, and if you could dogs 'Cause this is murder, murder and you get murked, murked This music 'bout to kill you, brr, brr This chicken hit my phone, she said "Chirp, chirp" I said, "Hut, hut, hike your skrrt, skrrt" Then go eat some worms, like the early bird What the **** is love? That's a dirty wor Make me fall in, there's not a girl on Earth Or any other planet, that's a world of hurt And I won't buy her designer, 'cause I don't pander But I'm back with so many knots, I need a chiropractor And this the final chapter, 'cause I'm either frying after Or they're gon' give me the needle like a vinyl scratcher Yeah, I'm a card, Like Hallmark at Walmart with a small cart buying wall art And y'all who claim to be dawgs aren't No bite like a tree mostly just all bark, arf, arf But y'all pickin' the wrong tree, They call me Dog because I'm barking (Bark, bark) And I got a lot, yeah, like where cars park I describe it as bowling (Why?) ball hard (Ball's hard) 'Cause the gutter's where my mind is in It's a misframe, but I slit like the five and the ten 'Cause without a second to spare, I'm strikin' again And when the beat is up my alley, I go right for the pins The cypher begins, I'm talkin' smack like nigga The mic's a syringe, it's like a binge, Vicodin I would like to pretend my mind's a recycling bin There's no place I never been, but I never budge and I never bend You hyperextend on me, this game's life, it depends Like adult diapers for men, even when I'm rappin' less stellar It's sour grapes, I still whine, I'm the best seller Like a train Spray you as these shots penetrate through Dre's booth And goes straight through your grapefruit, no escape route So you won't leave me at your scathe, with a few scrape wounds Your ass is grass and I'm not gonna graze you But a bar's , I need a Mad Hatter 'Cause I got so many caps, and you don't have any straps You'd be a fitted, so don't act like you're fittin' to snap Bitch, I'll pee on your head, like a Philly's hat (Ha Ha) No stoppin' me, you're on a window shopping spree Bitch, you probably go broke at the Dollar Tree You never buy shit, all you ever cop's a plea You're always punkin' out like Halloween You rather opt to flee, you need to stop it, punk Homie, you not a G, act like you got the pump You're gonna pop the heat or get the Glock and go Bitch, if you shot a tree, you wouldn't pop the trunk Yeah, and I'm buddies with Alfred, We about to disembowel, then gut 'em and scalp 'em Yeah, this about to be the bloodiest outcome 'Cause we gon' make you bleed with every cut from this album So I'm choppin' 'em up like Dahmer The nut job with the dick that are bigger than Jabba the Hutt I'm in the cut, and I'm out for the blood It's lookin' like it's that time of the month Carvin' 'em up with the bars while I sharpen 'em up, dawg I'm the mutt, I'm gonna **** your mom in the butt With a thermometer, ****ing phenomenal But y'all looking up like abdominals If you don't , droppin' like dominos The formidable, abominable Even if it touch the top of the dome, saw 'em get the I'm at the stop-and-go, hop on the mop and gloat you're stomachin' knots like you swallowed rope You out of pocket, throw like a mother****ing wallet stole Wait, why'd the beat cut off? **** it